You go out now to hear the loud beat. That's the thing I dreamed about. Not this exact thing, but going somewhere all night where nobody tells you to come home.
The room is dark and the sound is so big I feel it in my chest even from in here, in you. Boom. Boom. Boom. It doesn't stop. Grown-ups always said stop that noise. And now you ARE the noise, and you close your eyes, and your whole face goes soft.
You dance funny. Not like a dance from a video. More like you forgot anybody was watching, which is the best kind. I used to only dance like that in my room with the door shut.
There's a light that flashes and everybody's hands go up at the same second, like they all know a secret. Do you know the secret now? You look like you know it.
Somebody hands you water and says something and you laugh with your whole mouth. I didn't think you got to keep the whole-mouth laugh. I thought that was a kid thing.
You said one day you'd stay up till the sun came up. You'd see the whole night, all of it, the part after bedtime nobody let me see.
The door opens. It's morning. The sky is that gray-pink color, and you walk out squinting, tired all the way down, and you're smiling.
You did it. You stayed up till the light came.
Was it everything?
Tell me it was everything.